Who Watches The Watchers?

(Been a bit busy lately with the up coming move, work and writing an epic piece that will one day see public consumption)

Right, ever notice that folks who are into the same thing can easily spot one another? No matter what your hobby, fetish or general turn on is; you can always spot those of an alike mind. One of my many hobbies is observing the human condition, the stupid shite we as the higher form of life do when we think no one is watching. Those little habits and quirks that just happen to go off at the wrong time, yet many are either oblivious to or believe no one saw. Hehe guess again sucker, I'm looking for you.

Las Vegas is truly the best place to carry this little fetish out, something magical happens when people cross the boarder line into Las Vegas, in short they lose their fucking minds. Where else would you even consider to save up all year to go on holiday to, then once there basically hand your hard earned savings to any of the casinos or chance houses spread all around town? Need to get gas in your car? Why not play the slots while you wait for the line to grow shorter. Live in Vegas? No problem, getting groceries, picking up your child's prescription and have an itch that today is your lucky day, we have you covered with those sweet one armed bandits in the front of the store. Why not feed them your loose change, you might be a wiener, er umm I mean winner.

With all of this silliness going on and the fact that folks lose their mind when they come to town (What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? BOLLOCKS! You get to go home and explain to your wife how you lost the mortgage at the craps table, brought her home a case of the clap and aggravated your liver from drinking far too much)they even forget how to drive. After 7 years in this town I see it for it is, a way to part you from your cash. So if you are one of the handful of wise citizens you do not partake in these activities, you either know better or work in gaming.

Right again I have digressed: So knowing these things, you can surmise that there is little to do in Las Vegas if you don't partake in the sin that Sin City is famous for. Unless you observe what others who do partake actually do when they are here. Saturdays are sort of a tradition with The Missus, Sy and meself going to lunch/dinner out somewhere in town. I don't mind slow service, I'm busy watching. The two sixteen year old bussers too busy clowning for the teen aged girls eating with their parents to do their job. The two waitroids fighting over who's table is who's and bitching that the two bussers are idiots. The ever present life long locals, who have been here in Vegas since it was dirt (OK it still is but that dirt is shrinking)telling their out of town friends what it was like back in the day and how Vegas is ruined now. They would move to Florida but it seems to be ruined too. One of my all time favorites, tourist dad; he thought he was gonna have some gin, sin and someones ex-girl friend. But the wife decided that it would be a fun family vacation, now he's miserable and broke and most likely his wife isn't gonna give it up to him after the kids go to bed because they already have a wagon train full of em. Then there is the idiot family (we all have very unkind names for these folks, but for this writing we will leave it at idiot) The dirty tore up baseball hats, most times shoes that have seen a better day, mismatched colors in the rest of what they are wearing, the massively over weight persons trying to cram 50 pounds of shite into a small sized t-shirt with some really stupid and obnoxious catch phrase written on it. The ones snorting, laughing far too loud at things that aren't really funny. the elders screaming across the restaurant for little Billy to stop doing what ever it is that little Billy's do. These folks tend to get on the nerves of the average diner, for me it's free entertainment. Sure they are truly obnoxious, I tend to find the majority of the human species to be obnoxious (I don't want to hear any shite about being an elitist, racist or separatist either, you know in the back of your mind that you are on the same page) but I also find them entertaining, if ignorance is bliss; then Las Vegas has replaced Disneyland as the happiest place on earth.

So there I am enjoying my little observation game, I like to give the collection of assembled freaks little names so I can do comparisons of their personalities and crown the king freaks for that particular lunch time. But what the hell is this!!!! As I'm scanning the restaurant I happen to spy another observer (from the movie Blue Thunder: J.A.F.O. Just Another Fucking Observer)and he seems to have spotted me. This for me is more than mildly irritating. While most folks enjoy meeting others of their ilk, I see them as invading my observation point, this is where, for me; they become my sport. It truly never fails when two or more observers are in the same space, we become much more covert in what we are watching. Can't have the other JAFO enjoying what I am enjoying, that wouldn't do at all, that story is mine and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they will totally smeg it up in the retelling. I tend to fold them in with the other fools I'm watching and picture scenarios of them being blinded by a freak light bulb explosion, accidental fork flip or some such. I know I really shouldn't wish the JAFO ill, most likely they are intelligent and see the world much as I do; but damn it I was observing here first.

I've never taken the time to talk to another JAFO as I am sure that they have little desire to speak with me, which in some ways is a shame. I'm quite certain that if all of the worlds JAFO's got together and swapped strats we all would get much more amusement out of the world. Maybe it is our general disdain for the human animal that keeps us from forming an alliance amongst ourselves, maybe it's the fact that we all seem to be territorial in our observations. Or maybe we fear exposing ourselves for open review. There are exceptions to this rule; George Carlin quite possibly the best observer of our time makes his living sharing his observations with the world. As one can see by watching his act over the years most of us who observe, tend to change our outlook on the human condition, many times (as with all people) our observations are based on the mood we are in, things in our lives that have effected our thought process for good or ill, after all we too are just carbon based life forms like the rest of you; in no way flawless or without err in judgement. No the JAFO's of the world are not perfect, we are just taking great delight in your (or our conceived) short comings.

Back when I was younger they were talking at me
Never listened to a word I said
Always yap yap yapping and complaining at me
Made me think I'd be better of dead
I don't want to talk about it
I don't want to hear no lip
Take your share don't shout about it
That's your lot remember you're a kid
They would always teach me that to swear was a sin
Always speak your mind but not aloud
Think of something that you want to do with your life
Nothing that you like that's not allowed
I've no time to talk about it
All your stupid hopes and dreams
Get your feet back on the ground son
It's exams that count not football teams
(Chorus:)
And I'm running at the edge of their world
They're criticising something they just can't understand
Living on the edge of their town
And I won't be shot down

Taught me to defend myself and to be a man
How to kick someone and run away
Gave me everything that any young man could need
But don't understand why I won't stay
Here's your room and here's your records
Here's your home and here you'll stay
Here's somewhere I don't believe in
Wish someone would take it all away
(Chorus)

At the Edge - Stiff Little Fingers