Life the Universe and MMORPG's

For those not in the know a MMORPG is a Massive/Multiplayer/Online/Role/Playing/Game, my current habit is a game known to those who play as EQ2 a.k.a EverCrack II, but marketed and licenced by S.O.E. as EverQuest II.

I was standing at the door the day EQ2 went live, we had to stand for quite sometime as the servers kept going down. Sy and I would call each other to see if the other had gotten in. Which in hind site was really stupid, mainly because we live like 2 blocks away from one another; and secondly because I'm pretty sure S.O.E. isn't blacking out certain reagions from game play access (Crap I problably just gave them an idea - forget it I never said anything about reagion blocking). The last side note tells you how this is going to go, and what a hold S.O.E. has on many a player in many of the games they offer.

Anyway we finally get into game character creation is done, I pick an Assassin who is going to make weapons for his crafting skill, it just sounds so cool. Sy actually picks an Assassin as well (Sy has classicly been a Ranger from EQ1)which some how in S.O.E.'s twisted mind an Assassin is an evil version of a Ranger (Yeah I know that's what I said too). So there we are ready to take on the world, we join up with Printer Lord and a gaggle of his friends and form a guild - The Order. Hence forth Printer Lord gets a name upgrade to his toons name of Lokovon. Right so there we all are trying to figure out how to play, commands, controls and what not. Sy and I had EQ1 behind us so we had a bit easier go of it. I'm pretty sure that Sy and I were going about getting to know the game as The Order was already falling apart. In short roughly 4 months into game, The Order was pretty much dead. My guild jinx (started in EQ1 where I went through 3 guilds in less than a year - no fault of me own really- sometimes guilds just die) was returning.

I managed to do pretty well for meself as a solo, Sy wasn't playing as much as I was and to this day still plays less hours yet somehow always gets the better lewts (bastage). So I'm in a zone area; which has become one of my favorites since, when I happen upon a group of players in a guild called Guild Pestilence (Pestilence had already been taken thus the guild name Guild Pestilence - Yeah yeah get over it). there was Kouric the Troubador guild leader, his brother Rone the Guardian(officer and loud mouth), Gemful the Wizard(officer and one of the nicest people I've met since Sy), Tryvad the Necromancer (officer and another really good guy) and Koram the Inquisitor (Officer), So there I was carelessly going about my business and laying waste. The five of them invite me to group, and I think it was the fact that I was pure nuts testing the limits of the mobs that they took a shine me. We spent a good 4 hours in this zone from front to back, finished every quest and took on everything in our path. Just as we were about to wrap it up for the night Gemful shoots me a tell, I noticed your not in a guild (The Order was still in exsistance but no one other than Sy and meself were logging in - but I had already dropped my tag). I told him the very abbreviated story of The Order, thanked everyone for a kickin group and went about me way.

The next day I run into Gemful and we group up and do pretty well, again Gemful makes mention of the fact that I'm not in a guild. I tell him I'm shopping a few, but they need to take in Sy as well, he says oh, and we part ways. Next night it's Sy and I we run into Gemful, Kouric, Koram and Prosopis. They invite us to group and I tell Sy that they are really cool and we lay waste to yet another zone. Sy and I end up grouping with the guys from Pestilence for like 6 nights in a row. Finally Gemful comes out and says, Why don't you guys join Pestilence (meaning Sy and meself) Sy wasn't on so I figured what the hell. A week later we talk Sy into joining.

My first 5 months with Pestilence was a total blast, wouldn't trade em for the world. Rone and I disagreed about a few small matters but I didn't find out what a total asshole he was until the fateful day I was promoted to officer. I replaced Gemful who had decided to move on to a different on line game (who's name I won't utter, but if you play it your a total suxor noob). One of my first ideas as an officer was to suggest that we check out guilds smaller than ours and absorb them into ours, instant membership increase and you usually end up retaining a few. Like I said guilds fall apart, it just happens; most of the time it happens because of the greatest most foul, evil and fucked up thing that happens to every single guild no matter how tight you all are... DRAMA. Someone or many someones always have to be the center of attention, they have to have things their way no matter what the cost to the guild as a whole, these selfish fucks are commonly known as (Rone) Drama Queens.

We picked up the remains of quite a few small guilds, but the 2 that stick out the most are PAX (who were our sworn enemies at the time - remember this line Pestilence when we get to Crimson Corsairs)and MES. Intro Pam and Oljed from MES (there were others but we'll get to them later)and Lindar from PAX. I took a shine to Pam right away, we bothed did a hellasious amount of crafting so we would see each other in the tradeskill area. Oljed never really said much (OK as far as I know he didn't say anything while with Pestilence, but would drop everything and come out to help when called)Pam was really great about this too. Lindar always found something really fun to do, but had a bad habit of preferancing everything with "When I was in my old guild PAX, we would..." Please remember still that PAX was the one guild we hated more than any other shit bag, ninja lewting, kill stealing guild on our server (There is a reason why I keep mentioning this). So I am pretty much handling everything that comes my way as an officer, disputes, name calling and out and out fights. I established myself as the crafting officer, this is where things started to go bad for me. Little did I know that conflict was brewing amoungst our newest members. Rone wanted Lindar kicked out because he wouldn't stop with the whole 'When I was in PAX' thing; Here comes Trylon to straighten it all out. Pam was our lucky one with plenty of time to do things that really needed doing but all the rest of us were too damn lazy or busy to do. But it would seem that some kind of tension was brewing between Pam and our guild leaders wife Eeana. I'd talk to Pam, I'd talk to Eeana, then Kouric, Rone, Tryvad and Koram. Somehow always having to be the voice of reason and the peace keeper.

As crafting officer I was losing my ass, I was in charge of making everything the guild needed (I have a crapload of alts that do different crafting jobs)for free. So not only was I seeing every coin I made getting turned into other peoples gear, I was also getting left behind on leveling, mostly because it had turned into a full time job, crafting and keeping the peace. I only got groups if Pam or Jed would ask for me to come along or I started to complain that I had no more coin to craft the needed items. I started to resent this fact alot. Anyway Pam continued to be a dynamo, really getting the guild shaped up nicely, getting groups for folks and getting alot of old quests and what not done for folks, getting the guild hall squared away and crafting a truck load of goodies for it. I made the suggestion numerious times that Pam be promoted to officer, unknown to me there were more hassles going on in the very far back ground that I was not made aware of. I'm sure it was because I would have sided with the wrong side, because in this case the wrong side was completely right, someone elses green eyed monster was driving the dispute. Mind you during this time, every officer other than myself had wanted to boot Lindar, the PAX thing was getting quite annoying I took him aside and we straightened it out, by me saying if you mention PAX again, I'll boot ya meself. I'm a very tolerant person, so I think he knew it was serious, anyway he thanked me and told me what a great friend I was for helping him out and keeping him from getting booted.

OK to try to shorten this down I spent 2 years time with the folks in Pestilence who were my 'friends'. In the end Pam left for another guild Crimson Corsairs (who became the new PAX, the most hated of enemies of Pestilence). Alot of folks came and went, but when the majority of folks from MES went to Crimson, that was my fault. Not that it really was; by the time I found out what was really going on it was too late, I saw alot of good friends leave the guild. There was no one left to blame the guilds failings on, no one but me. Everything weither I had anything to do with it or not was my fault. I stopped doing the guilds crafting, I wasn't advancing like the others and always broke (I had to borrow coin from guildies quite often to pay the stinking 5sp rent on my selling room). I wasn't having fun anymore and decided that if I'm going to sweat for a guild I may as well have it be my own. I announced to the officers that I was taking a bit of a holiday from Pestilence to consentrate on rebuilding The Order, I'd leave Trylon but move all my other alts out (I still had some in The Order all of this time). This caused the Trylon/Durfea wars, in short we had been busting butt trying to level our guild, but instrest was dropping off, I think Ripclaw had quit playing for like the zillionth time (just kidding Rip, but it's damn close). We were to go on a guild city raid, I wasn't feeling well that day, but was on harvesting to get my alts rolling. I didn't go to the raid, that failed miserably (happens alot) and suddenly it was my fault, I was on line but could be bothered to help out my guild and guildies (so sayth the Durfea), we got into a bitter fight in the officers forums. Durfea called for my immediate demotion if not being booted from the guild all together. Mind you Durfea always ran off and hid when ever there was a real problem that needed solving in guild, but was the first to demand asinine changes in the guild or guild members to 'solve' the problem he had no part in. That was the last straw, I logged to our forums and told the membership that I was leaving guild, very nicely no name calling or mentioning of anyone's name, the standard your really pissed at these folks but have class enough not to air the dirty laundry good bye. Then I logged into game and removed all my toons, effectively quitting Pestilence for good.

Now I've never considered myself a 'great' player, there are so many others who make me look like an amature; this is fine with me. I never considered myself 'sought after' Pestilence let me believe that no one wanted an Assassin after the nerf bat turned us into a total support only class (You can't solo and backstab everything S.O.E. get a clue). I was out of Pestilence for roughly 30 minutes, I had put all of my toons in The Order and was going to make a go of it alone. But then the tells started, both good and bad. On the bad side was Rone and Lindar telling me what a tratorious shit I was for abandoning the guild (look in the mirror you jack asses)telling me that I am sick and need help (over a fucking game mind you - who's really the sick one here?)Rone thinks he's so fucking cleaver, trying to play mind games on me, tell you what Junior anytime you want to really challenge the master, you let me know; until then STFU! On the good side I was getting offers from different guilds who actually wanted Trylon
I talked with a few folks and considered my options. I had been talking with Rinn (from Crimson)for quite a few days before I left GP. Rones constant tells where becoming a bit annoying but so outragiously stupid that I just couldn't put him on ignore.

So after about an hour of looking over the guilds that were sending me offers, then looking at how many folks I knew that were already in CC, I put in an application. The rest is more or less history up to this point. I'm in game and having fun again, I'm in a guild with folks who genuinely (seem) to enjoy the fact that I am there, do not make demands of me in anyway and are appreciative if I craft something for them or help out with a quest, it feels really good to play with people that you've never met face to face (with the exception of The Order I've never actually met in person any of my guildies)who think of the group or guild as a whole first and are truely genuine when you have something good happen in congratulating that person.

So what is the point? I play my on line game to have fun, I should have chucked it all in when I stopped having fun. There are some really selfish fucks in the world, don't let them convince you that they are your 'friend' they will sell you out for a sack of beans. Hypocrites like Lindar are everywhere, they tell you that you are a bad guy for leaving the guild on honest terms, then they totally abandon the guild for another game, tell you they can not be your friend after you helped them not only stay in guild but get promoted. Bitter? Not so much anymore, I learned many lessons from game. The best thing I have learned... It's just a game, if things get to a point of no longer being fun... Walk away, you owe no one anything; least of all... an explination.


Ever live a life that's real...Full of zest, but no appeal
Ever want to cry so much You want to die
Ever feel that you've been had Had so much that you turn mad
Ever been depressed that those you turn to, you bring distress
Ever sit in tormenting silence That turns so loud, you start to scream
Ever take control of a dream And play all the parts and set all the scenes
Ever do nothing and gain nothing from it
Ever feel stupid and then know that you really are
Ever think you're smart and then find out you aren't
Ever play the fool and then find out that you're worse
Ever look at a flower and hate it
Ever see a couple kissing and get sickened by it
Ever wish the human race didn't exist And then realize you're one too
Well, have you ... ever .. I have So What
-Ever by Flipper